Gossip

Fancy grease all over your notebook PC keyboard? Buy a BigIP Mac!

You have to be joking. Four thousand McDonalds hamburger joints (in Japan) are installing WiFi WLAN hotspots? WHY?

Our Sniffer would like to go on record as being a great fan of the Big Mac approach to life; since, when running along the Cat5 ducting to trace interesting routes, abandoned buns can be a useful light snack for hungry rodents. But would you really want to take your notebook PC in amongst the dinosaur promotions, squealing brats of dubious table manners, and clumsy table-cleaners of a fast food restaurant?

According to the Daily Mirror, whose Amy's i column has (thankfully) dropped the habit of its predecessor, Kelly, who filled his column with trivia from The Register every day, Macdonalds in Japan has decided that wireless Internet access will attract - what? A more desirable type of customer?

Sniffer is speculating about whether he can make more money selling water-proof keyboard "condoms" to McDonalds patrons, or by selling "free Internet" tokens at a fiver each to passers-by for his own "street-side Internet Cafe" which will, coincidentally, tend to be found parked outside popular hamburger joints.

Next week: we discuss the "wisdom" of installing hot spots at petrol stations where it is already impossible to find a vacant fuel pump, where wireless transmissions are already illegal for fire safety reasons, and where you really don't want people to linger longer than they absolutely must.