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Nokia N-Gage game-phone hits the US - not all bad news

At least one observer likes the new "Swiss Army Knife" of gaming machines, the "taco roll" of phones, and the "what IS that thing?" of FM portable radios.

"As typical with any new game platform launch, gamers across North America created and took part in activities in celebration of the N-Gage mobile game deck's October 7 on-sale date," reported this observer.

"Flash mobs were seen yesterday in New York, Los Angeles and Chicago, and a mysterious N-Gage crop circle was discovered in Minnesota. Gamers also took to the street to perform street art and leave reminders that the N-Gage game deck would take gaming to the next level. And more festivities in celebration of the N-Gage game deck's availability are planned for the coming days."

Exciting, huh? Except this "observer" is ... Nokia's PR officer. Ah well ... and I suppose that explains how they can report on "what happened" on a day which hasn't started yet, in America, too!

So; was anybody else impressed?

Well, Nokia isn't entirely alone in admiring its new baby, but you have to scratch around to find many other people who think N-Gage is a great gaming platform. About the most enthusiastic review would be Chris Wildermuth of Gamespy, who thinks many reviewers have missed the point.

He writes: "The conventional wisdom on N-Gage is that it's a howling failure out of the chute. The gamerati pooh-poohs it. It reeks of "version 1.0." It can't do what a Gameboy Advance does. It's way too expensive. To all of those folks I have one comment: what's your point?"

Wildermuth thinks that aiming the device at over-age teenagers ("You know who I'm talking about. Some guy with several hundred dollars of disposable income. Every month. Mr. Conspicuous Consumption") is a clever strategy.

But even the Gamespy editor has to admit, the idea may be clever, but the implementation does suck. "I'm not stupid. I know the thing has v1.0 issues, but to me the ones getting all the attention aren't that big a deal."

Wildermuth lists the much-reported problems: "For example, swapping the game cards is a bit cumbersome, but really no biggie except for the true Attention Deficit Disorder player. And talking into the taco should be for emergencies only: Wear a Bluetooth headset and you go from dork to ultra-cool in less than $120."

And then, to spoil his enthusiasm: "My issues are those of the mature player: You can't play games and listen to the MP3 player at the same time. You have to use the wired headset for the radio since it's the antenna too. You can't use it on an airplane because, well, it's a phone and you can't turn on phones while you're in the air." Oops. They didn't miss that, really? Did they?

As for the games, the same site dismisses the ones available so far as "mediocre or poor."

The editors also complain about multiplayer: "Also, the "multiplayer" side of the system seems to be a little low on juice, as most of the multiplayer options are limited to Bluetooth or download-a-ghost challenges."

As a phone, it isn't smart enough. As a radio, it isn't convenient enough. As a multiplayer machine, it isn't well enough connected. As an MP3 player, it doesn't have enough memory. It isn't a PDA, and you can't use it on a plane.

Some business analysts have actually bracketed N-Gage along with Sony's forthcoming (next year, late) PlayStation Portable, PSP as a "threat to Nintendo dominance."

As one hardcore gamer put it, talking to NewsWireless.Net: "Thing is if Nokia don't sell across a broad range they are going to learn what Microsoft learnt the hard way with the Xbox. MS dropped the 18-30 year old male gamer model for the Xbox, and it has taken a year plus to see any games reflecting that."

The same criticism could be levelled at the Tapwave game platform, of course. But that is, at least, a genuine Palm PDA with a legitimate business application. And it doesn't look like a burrito with bits of foil stuck to it ...