Gossip

Radiation-proof trousers? You are kidding aren't you?

People who are scared of mobile phone "radiation" are born every minute, it seems; and Levi-Strauss, maker of Dockers brand jeans, is going to get all of them on the same ride. Or.. are we being mocked?

It looks like the scoop of the century; a tabloid paper first mentioned "radiation-proof" jeans. Then it was followed up by the ZDNet news service, where Levi confirmed that yes, the pockets in the new Dockers will be capable of "maybe" protecting the wearer from the damage caused by a mobile phone.

We believed every word of it. We have met people convinced that phone masts are a threat to their health and that they should never allow a mobile phone within 30 cm of their body. Nothing strange about that.

Then we read the story more closely:

"Precise details about the nature of this radiation-reducing material are not available. The Levi's spokesman said that the lining is 97 percent cotton, with the remaining 3 percent being a substance called "MDF" -- but he was unable to give any further information."

Oddly, we recently installed an insulated cupboard in the Sniffer household. The carpenter recommended Medium Density Fibreboard (like hardboard, but not so dense) for its dimensional stability and good insulation properties. It's known in the trade as MDF.

Will Levi Dockers really and truly be making "brown trousers" for phonophobes? or is someone having us on? And will Levi ever live down the shame of making men's only trousers, thus protecting the testicles while not bothering to produce a version to shield the ever-so-slightly vital ovaries? Remember guys (you are guys at Levi, right?) a woman's ovaries have all the eggs she will ever have, when she is born ... men can produce new sperm daily.

Alas; the more we read of this, the more we're convinced it's all bollox ... (a technical term) and only worth a smile.