Gossip

Where were all the bright young things?

Anybody who tried to do business with the brightest and best of the IT industry in the UK today probably got voice mail. Why? - because last night was the 30th Annual Computing Awards dinner. It went on until the small hours.

The Boss reports tried to count the number of tables in the Battersea Park Arena, but got stuck at 80 (about ten people per table). He says he was distracted by David Who? Oh, Hughes, head of WiFi hotspot pioneer, BT OpenZone (he received an award) and then, almost immediately by personal computer pioneer Chris Curry (founder of Acorn) who was guest of honour. Then by Nick Barleycorn? - marketing director of Microsoft UK and then ...

The Boss got back late, and went to bed, pausing only to throw his notebook at your Sniffer.

It makes little obvious sense. Rory Bremner? Isn't he a famous impressionist? Ah, he would have been the MC.

And the Editor of Computing - the UK's second-oldest surviving IT newspaper - apparently, made some comment about how awful "the newspapers" are. Hm. New in the job, is he? Ah, yes, someone ... called Gubbins? Buggins? - apparently.

Then (the notes are impossible to read) it looks like someone called IDS spoke for a bit. That can't be right! Notes say: "Rang IDS; nobody in, left message on his wife's answering machine." Very odd. You might think IDS was a person. Ah, no, can't be: "If we get ID cards, IDS will have to get an identity." Clearly, a security product.

Here's a strange bit: "Bremner says he spent a while chatting to Anne Widdecombe. He also thinks he might be gay." He might be? or she might be? Not clear ...

It looks like Bill Clinton did a short speech. The Boss took most of that down: "Ah think it was President Dwight D Eisenhower, who said - no, Ah tell a lie, it was Burt Bacharach - who said 'What the world needs now is love, sweet love.' And Ah wonder why George W Bush always looks like he's carryin' two sheep?"

Then there's a bit about Bush himself. Apparently, he has powerful enemas. They scare the shit out of him? Can that be right? That's what's written ...

Here's something about Blair - said that "We went to war, and what people forget, or tend to forget, these days, is that we went to war, because we wanted to." And his son, Leo, " ... having breakfast, playing with his eggs and his little Marmite peacekeepers ... still, Humpty Dumpty was seen by a doctor within 20 minutes, now that the Health Service ... ." and then the notes seem to trail away again.

Not sure who Prescott is. Someone who's quoted as saying: "Hey, monkey, what's on t'telly?" - is that a comedy reference? Hard to be sure. The only Prescott your Sniffer can think of would be the Deputy Leader of the governing Labour Party. Oh, of course! - the new Intel Pentium chip. Streaming video.

There were dozens of awards. Bremner seems to have enjoyed all 80-something of them. "Come on, Mark," he told the News Editor of IT Week at one envelope-slitting moment, "put us out of our apathy." No, that can't be right; must be the Boss's handwriting ...

Nothing about mobile data. Could it be that The Boss has taken a day off?

Why would he do that? And did you know, back in 1977, The Boss was Chief Reporter of Computing, and BackBytes editor? and Personal Computing Editor? It's true. He says it was "very nostalgic." Oh, and something about "invited John Major out for a curry, but he said he'd already had one ... ?" Surely not Chris Curry? Tim?