News

Your Bluetooth device? It's annoying me. $500 fine...

Brighton (America) has decided that having no local ordinance to ban "being a nuisance" is a handicap. The lack has allowed irritating people to avoid the Law for too long. It has, reports the local paper, taken steps to fix this.

Reporters Jim Totten and Kristofer Karol have perused the new ordinance: 

"It shall be unlawful for a person to engage in a course of conduct or repeatedly commit acts that alarm or seriously annoy another person and that serve no legitimate purpose." 

That backs up an existing section that states,

"It shall be unlawful for any person in the city to insult, accost, molest or otherwise annoy, either by word of mouth, sign or motions any person in any public place." 

Columnist Travis Vito Tessmer found this all just too much. And who can blame him? He resorted to satire:  

We have seen time and time again those deviants who roam this city, causing a ruckus, talking on their Bluetooth devices, and even, sweet America, wearing white pants after Labor Day. You have our solemn pledge that these miscreants will be sought out and dealt with accordingly by the swift arm of justice. Together, we can work to make this country great again.

And not a single mention of "free speech rights" needed! But the council is  (it says) well aware of the importance of the Amendment: 

City Attorney Paul Burns said that City Council chambers are considered a "bastion of democracy" and the law provides a wide breadth for free speech.Police Chief Tom Wightman added "people can still face up to a $500 fine if they attend a meeting with the specific intention of causing a disruption."

So whatever you do, don't do anything really REALLY annoying in Brighton. Switch off Bluetooth, turn off the iPhone, and try to look like you wouldn't watch any TV channel except Fox...

Burns said there could be a situation where a ticket issued violates someone's right to free speech, but he said his office would be reviewing these cases