Gossip

Not sure what the TechEd organisers are trying to say ... about the delegates!

It was a hard day at the RAI centre in Amsterdam. They had to get up early, and they've worked flat out ever since they left the hotel. But what do the organisers really think delegates are up to?

"We got a clue" (says The Boss) "from a nice little hospitality package found in the rooms on our return."

Tastefully wrapped in dark blue tissue paper:

* A can of Red Bull ("Vitalises body and mind") drink.

* Eight Cool Cucumber eye pads in shrink wrap foil

* Listerine Cool Mint - 24 dissolvable strips - "kills germs for lasting fresh breath ... "

* TEN Alka-Seltzer hangover tablets

* Six Diocalm "fast recovery from diarrhoea" capsules, and six rehydration sachets

* five sticking plasters for cuts and scrapes

... and foot spray, cocoa butter ointment - ah, well - look on the bright side. At least there are no "marital aids" to prevent infection from ... hang on, what's this at the bottom of the bag?

Bloody hell, that's a big one! Oops, no; it's a Jordan's cereal crunch bar. Dear, dear; hope we don't have to live up to all this! Honestly, we're just here for the seminar sessions, aren't we, chaps and chapesses?

Right. Off to the next party - don't wait up ... and if you meet anybody with smelly feet, parrot-cage breath, fried-egg eyes and ten hangovers, report it to the Organisers, OK?